had a really good day today, i’m so glad i came home this weekend even though it made yesterday insane. i had a really good talk with mum about all my shit, i always forget that she shares so much of my weird thought patterns and habits, i’m such an odd mix of both her and dad in pretty much every way, it’s no wonder i’m such a weird mess. i felt pretty calm all day which is a nice change and i finally got my hair cut which feels so much better, it’ll be a nice bolster against the ‘i hate myself too much to go outside today’ cuz at least bitch, my hair looks great.
i even ate ground beef for the first time in like four years? i was a little sick after supper but i think it was more the wine than anything, i guess the new meds regime reacts differently than the old one even though the drug is the same. i was just kind of out of it and a little sick to my stomach though it passed after i lay down for a while. i really don’t need to drink anyway but i like to, i’m denied so many other things that i want booze dammit.
tomorrow is super bowl day which will hopefully be not awkward and maybe even sort of fun? idk dad might be kinda stressed with dinner and doggies and things but hopefully it’ll all work out okay. i get to shop with my melefant so that will be awesome, and i get to stock up on purdy’s chocolate instead of crap dairy milk.
i still can’t decide about the one credit course next weekend, it would be a lot of time and mean yet another assignment this term but i think it would be a good career move? it’s weird thinking that way, my day with sandy was a little scary but also good because i’m more sure that academic librarianship, and health sciences in particular if i get to, is the way i want to go. this course isn’t coming at a great time so i’m not sure. mike will be there and mike is awesome and supportive and awesome but it means web design will be even more ridiculous than usual. sigh. so tired of it all already. at least january is finally done, what a terrible month. i’m quite determined that february will be better, if only my brain will cooperate.